I struggled physically all year in 2019. I felt tired nearly every workout and struggled to finish what felt easy before. I felt zesty and invigorated only a handful of days. I felt like I spent weeks and weeks feeling too fatigued to move. As you can see from the weekly bar chart, my activity trended up and down all year long, like a wave. It’s like I spent a few weeks working really hard, only to find I never got to the reward of feeling better. Then I’d rest. The cycle repeated over and over. The chart matches my memory. in 2019 I spent many weeks feeling like I was “peaking”, like I reached my personal best. The weekly bar chart matches that memory. You can see a gradual build until a few weeks of peak performance in the summer, after which I rested. The weird thing is I feel like I didn’t do as much activity in 2019 as I had in many years. However, my activity was quite higher than 2017. I did have some technical difficulties with my hardware in 2017, so I had more untracked workouts that year than the others, but I don’t think I missed so many as to make the difference shown. Why did 2019 feel so bad? It is aging? Is it because 2018 was so fantastic? Is it a glitch in life, perception, or my hardware? Who knows?

While I can’t help but be full of intentions and expectations for my physical self in 2020, I want to also take time to congratulate myself and recognize that I am still doing well even if it doesn’t feel that way.