I'm the one doing it wrong

The last couple of weeks of commutes have been particularly challenging when it comes to near misses and feeling safe. No person or thing has been hurt, but I’ve felt pretty shaken several times. This led me to re-evaluate my riding behaviors. I took time to carefully observe others. I always thought that a responsible, safe cyclist was supposed to “behave like a car.” I’ve taken this seriously and do everything on a bike just like I would when driving car (behaving the same at intersections, etc.) with 3 exceptions:

  1. If there’s a bike lane I’ll ride in that
  2. If I can’t maintain the pace of traffic, I’ll ride on the shoulder or edge of the lane
  3. I avoid coming to a complete stop (starting from a dead stop is tiresome when you have to do it over and over) 

I see other cyclists riding between cars on the center line, jumping sidewalks and running lights. I always thought those “reckless bike-messenger wanna-bes” were the odd ones out. But then, after careful observation over the past couple of weeks, I’ve taken note of other cyclist behavior. I’ve probably observed hundreds of other cyclists. I am the only one who rides with traffic. If I am the only one, then it must be me who’s doing it wrong. Where did I get this idea of riding in the first place? Why have I felt so virtuous for riding this way for so many years when it clearly is not the way to ride? Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen anyone else ride with traffic in a very long time. I feel embarrassed for having touted this riding style for so long. 
It all makes sense to me now. This must be why I get honked and yelled at so much downtown. I think pedestrians would rather me just go on my way than slow for them, and I think cars mostly prefer I just get out of their space as quickly as possible. I’m going to let this observation sit with me for a bit, I am not sure what to think of it.